Why Does My Child Hate Reading—and Is It My Fault?

When a Child "Hates" Reading

Recently, I came across a post from a parent that deeply resonated with what so many families experience. She wrote:

“My daughter hates reading with a fiery passion… basically refuses to do it at home… Her school keeps telling us to just practice more, but it’s a battle every night. It makes me feel like a failure because my kid hates reading and will never be good at it.”

If you’ve ever felt that same frustration, shame, or helplessness—please know this:

You are not failing. Your child is not failing. And forcing reading isn’t the answer.

What If My Child Has ADHD or Dyslexia and Still Refuses to Read?

In my 16 years of tutoring online, I’ve worked with hundreds of students who have ADHD, dyslexia, or both. These kids often try hard all day at school—only to come home and shut down when asked to read.

Why?

Because reading isn’t just hard. It’s:

• Exhausting

• Discouraging

• Sometimes shame-inducing

  
  

According to the International Dyslexia Association, children with dyslexia often associate reading with repeated failure. Add ADHD, and now you’re also navigating:

• Attention fatigue

• Low frustration tolerance

• Emotional dysregulation

It’s not that your child won’t read. It’s that their brain is asking for a break.

What’s Below the Surface (What Dyslexic Readers Are Actually Experiencing)

Here’s the invisible load a dyslexic student may be carrying during reading:

❖ Cognitive Processing

• Difficulty with phonological awareness (hearing and manipulating sounds)

• Trouble with rapid automatized naming (retrieving words quickly)

• Slow working memory, affecting comprehension and fluency

• Trouble decoding unfamiliar or non-phonetic words

• Strain with orthographic mapping (storing written words for future recognition)

  
  

❖ Emotional & Psychological Load

• Fear of being called on in class

• Shame or embarrassment about reading level

• Learned helplessness: “I’ll fail anyway, so why try?”

• Low self-esteem or self-worth

• Anxiety or avoidance patterns

❖ Neurological & Sensory Strain

• Eye tracking difficulties (losing place on a page)

• Visual crowding or distortions when reading

• Auditory processing challenges

• Fatigue from constantly overworking the brain to decode

❖ Behavioral Responses (Misinterpreted)

• “Acting out” to avoid reading

• Zoning out, shutting down, or crying

• Overcompensating with memorization or charm

• Refusing to read—not out of defiance, but as self-protection

Why the Iceberg Matters

Most of what a dyslexic reader is battling is invisible.And unless we understand the full picture, we risk offering the wrong support—or worse, shaming a child who’s already trying their hardest.

Why Do Schools Say “Just Practice”—and Why Doesn’t That Always Work?

Well-meaning teachers often say things like:

“She’s bright—it’ll click if she keeps practicing.”

But research tells us that’s not how dyslexia works.

For many students, more exposure to text isn’t helpful until they receive explicit, structured instruction in:

• Phonemic awareness

• Decoding

• Fluency

• 
  

Without that foundation, “just reading more” can deepen anxiety and resistance.

📌 Important: If your child isn’t making progress with traditional reading practice, it may not be because you’re not doing enough—it may be because they need a different kind of support.

What Can I Do If Reading at Home Causes Arguments and Tears?

This is the big one. I tell parents this all the time:

If reading is hurting your relationship, it’s okay to stop forcing it at home.

Let school and specialized tutoring carry the instructional weight. At home, shift your focus to:

• Connection over compliance

• Curiosity over curriculum

• Confidence over control

This isn’t giving up. It’s protecting your child’s emotional safety—which is foundational to learning.

Are Audiobooks Cheating?

Absolutely not. Audiobooks are one of the most powerful tools for students with reading-based learning differences.

They allow children to:

• Access grade-level content without decoding fatigue

• Build vocabulary, comprehension, and storytelling skills

• Stay engaged with books, even when reading feels like work

According to the International Dyslexia Association, audiobooks and other assistive tech are valid, research-supported tools.

So yes, turn on that story in the car, at bedtime, or during quiet time. It counts.

How Can I Support My Child’s Reading Without Forcing It?

Here are a few parent-tested, research-backed strategies:

• Switch to audiobooks: Try Learning Ally, Audible, or Epic!

• Use assistive tech: Explore Speechify, Google Read&Write, or voice typing

• Introduce typing programs: BBC Dance Mat, TypingClub

• Read aloud together: No strings attached, just enjoy a story

• Build language: Through podcasts, storytelling, or even dinner table talk

• Consider a structured literacy tutor: Especially for students with dyslexia or ongoing struggles

Is It Okay to Stop Nightly Reading Battles?

Yes. A thousand times yes.

You are allowed to:

• Say, “This isn’t working for us right now.”

• Protect peace in your home.

• Trust your instincts as a parent.

Let go of what reading "should" look like. Embrace what your child can do right now—and build from there.

A Message from One Reading Specialist to Every Parent Who Feels Like They’re Failing

You are not alone.

You are not doing this wrong.

Reading resistance does not equal parental failure.

It’s a sign your child needs a different approach.

And you’re already taking the brave first step by asking what else is possible.

There is hope. There is help. There is healing.

Want Support from Someone Who Gets It?

If you’re ready to stop the nightly battles and get real, structured support tailored to your child’s needs, I’m here to help.

As a licensed reading teacher, certified reading specialist, and Orton-Gillingham trained tutor, I work online with students across the U.S. using methods backed by science and built with compassion.

👉 Schedule a free consultation or reach out to learn more.

About the Author

Joanne Kaminski is a licensed reading teacher, certified reading specialist, and Orton-Gillingham trained tutor with over 16 years of experience working with students online. A member of the International Dyslexia Association, she helps struggling readers—including those with dyslexia and ADHD—develop the skills they need to succeed in school and life. She’s passionate about helping families move from frustration to hope by offering compassionate, evidence-based support.